During discovery calls, sometimes a potential client says something like, “I need you to kick me in the butt,” or “Just push me harder.” I always understand the intention behind it. Many high performers—veterans, athletes, first responders, executives—were raised in systems where pressure, accountability, and discipline were delivered from the outside. Someone else was always the enforcer. Someone else set the standard. Someone else kept them in line.

As a life coach in Haymarket, VA working with clients locally and nationwide, I see this pattern every day: people trying to change their actions without first understanding the thoughts driving them. That’s why the first pillar of aligned leadership begins with the mind. Cognitive Behavioral Coaching (CBC) helps clients see the connection between thoughts, emotions, and actions.